Put jokes
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Memes
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.
But the tree left him hanging.