Put jokes

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!

Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.

What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.

I'll put white in your smile.

Why do cops never put orphans in jail?

Because they aren't wanted.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.