Put jokes

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

I put the fun in funeral.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

What does McDonald's and priests have in common?

They put their meat inside 10 year olds.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.