Put jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

How to make holy water:

1. Grab a pot.

2. Put water in it.

3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.

4. Boil the hell out of it.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

I put the fun in funeral.