Put jokes

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because he put the wrong sock was put on.

Hehe.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

I put the fun in funeral.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.

Where did the king put his armies?

In his sleevies.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!