Put jokes
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
Memes
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.
But the tree left him hanging.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.
Guys, put more comments in.
We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.