Put jokes

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

I put the fun in funeral.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

What does McDonald's and priests have in common?

They put their meat inside 10 year olds.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because he put the wrong sock was put on.

Hehe.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

Where did the king put his armies?

In his sleevies.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.