Pussy Jokes

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.

Pussy, asshole, cunt.

Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.

Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.

Jesus Harold Christ!

Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

"We are Number one."

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"