Pussy jokes

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.

Pussy, asshole, cunt.

Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.

Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.

Jesus Harold Christ!

Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.