Pussy

Pussy jokes

Weed

    • What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

    If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

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    • Mob

    • Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

    A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

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    • Boy

    • A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

    Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

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    • Pussy memes

    Contest

    • I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

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    • Sex

    • Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

    So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

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    • Neighbor

    • I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

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    • Oyster

    • What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

    Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.

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    • Viagra

    • Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

    Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

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    • Girlfriend

    • Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

    The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

    A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

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    • Mom

    • Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

    My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

    One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

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    • Woman

    • What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

    The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

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