Pussy jokes

How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.

"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.

Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.

My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.

Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!

Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

Saying balls go into pussy.

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

"Kill yourself."

"Kill me yourself, pussy."

Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.

Pussy, asshole, cunt.

Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.

Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.

Jesus Harold Christ!

Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!