Puns

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

"Fish, why you no fly?"

"I don't like being caught naked."

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What did the panther say at the poker party?

I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Why did the car key never fit in?

He was too door key.

Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

Why did the sea cry?

Because it felt salty and blue.

Flat Earthers

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snowbank.

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?

Uranus!

(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)

I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.