Puns
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
Flat Earthers
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
Oofer.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.