Puns
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
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My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.