My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!!!!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss!!
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
whats white and rhymes with dre? eminem.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European
Person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "oh, you know, stuff."
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why did the guitarist go to prison? Cause he fingered A minor
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing
What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
What do you tell a dead metal fan? Rust in peace
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig
Wanna hear a joke about paper, Never mind, its tearable.
Your probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -"I want my quarter back."
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
They Are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.