Middle Age

Middle Age jokes

Knight

    • What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

    What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

    Man

    • What does a middle aged man live in?

    A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

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    • Middle Age memes

    Doctor

    • Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

    Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

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    • Couple

    • A young couple gets banned from church.

    There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

    After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

    Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

    Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

    "We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

    "I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

    "We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

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    • Stuff

    • The Good Old Days.

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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    • King

    • In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

    I mean, I don't see why not.

    Face

    • "That's not my age; it's just not true.

    My heart is young; the time just flew.

    I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

    Sister

    • When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

    Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!