Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Puns
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
i fell from the stairs the other day. it really “got me down”.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
your mom
if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite
I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!
What do you call a spice with a PHD
Dr. Pepper