Puns
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
What do you call a cool octopus? Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.