What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Puns
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
Hi, my name is Bob.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Person you don't know, my name.
My existence.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."
Hey updog!
What's updog?
(Laughter)
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
Your face.
Your mum!
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
