Puns

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

TheOdd1sOut is odd to meet.

What time does the man go to the bank?

8 AM.

What do you call a pickle sandwich?

A Big Mac!

Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

Me: But you are not standing:)

Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.

Hi, my name is Bob.

What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.

That was an egg-cellent joke!

What lives on the forest floor?

Forest Gump.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

Hey updog!

What's updog?

(Laughter)

My existence.

Person you don't know, my name.

"I was lost in the woods yesterday."

"I was in some sticky situation..."

Two whales went to a bar.

The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

What did Santa use as a candy cane?

Wait, wait, I said it wrong.

Okay.

What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.