Puns

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

Which mineral is so impolite?

IRONic.

I knead bread.

If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Shhhhhhhhhh.

Shhhhhhhhhh who?

Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!

Hey Max, what's up? The sky.

I was born on the moon.

Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

How do you close a cabinet?

You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!

My dick said that your ass is having a boner.

A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I guess this is pretty plane.

I am sorry I am just winging it.

Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.

Wow, I just landed that one!

TheOdd1sOut is odd to meet.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

What time does the man go to the bank?

8 AM.