Puns

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

I was born on the moon.

Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Yo, Buster, I hope I am not busting your bubble.

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Hey Max, what's up? The sky.

I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.

KA-DOOM-CHA!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Shhhhhhhhhh.

Shhhhhhhhhh who?

Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!

I knead bread.

Which mineral is so impolite?

IRONic.

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

5+2 = 7

But 4+3 also = 7

So take your own path.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.

I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...