Puns
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!
“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”
“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Hitler was a dic-tator.