Puns
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Maggot.
Jokes are rather funny.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.