Puns
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
Laugh.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
The earth is not round.
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Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!