Puns
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
I have a really good joke.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
Yeet.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?