Website

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

Box

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

Roll

Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."

Pistol

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?

He found that he had a piece in his sole!

Pig

What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!

Chef

Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!

Bone

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Mitosis

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

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  • Shirt

    What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

    "If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

    Get it?

    Pet

    What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

    "I'm totally dogging it today..."

    Dog

    What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

    "It won't be long now..."

    Pane

    What did the window say to the door?

    "What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

    Get it?

    Paper

    Have you heard the joke about the paper?

    Never mind, it's tear-able.