Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Puns
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
Yeet.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
