Puns
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Sup?