Puns
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Sup?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!