How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Puns
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Sup?
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
pussi
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
