Puns
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Sup?
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
pussi