Puns
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
I have a trombone.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
Are we supposed to submit jokes?
This website.
Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"