Puns
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Sup?
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
pussi