Puns
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
Scree.
Oh no!
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.