Puns
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Scree.
Oh no!
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.