Puns
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?