Puns

What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?

I moustache you a question.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."

Get it? I read? No... ok.

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.

I think you're eggcellent!

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.