Puns
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
It's punny.
I went to the store, and yeah...
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"