Puns

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?

You: What you doing?

I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!

What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I went to the store, and yeah...

Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?

Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

Why did the man die of the actor's performance?

The performance was unbeLIVEable!

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you waiting for, just let me in!

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

I used to hate facial hair,

but then it grew on me.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"