Puns

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

It's punny.

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."

Scree.

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?