Puns

A pun enters the room and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.

You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!

Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast.

"I was lost in the woods yesterday."

"I was in some sticky situation..."

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

Why was the Koala Bear so clever?

Because he had good koalifications!

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

Bread?

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.