Puns
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!