Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
Puns
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
You're overreacting.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
