Puns
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Succcccc.
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.