Puns

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?

What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?

A T-ex.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.

I went to the store, and yeah...

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

*Shrek* Bend ogre.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."

How can you help a llama on holiday?

Alpaca your bags.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.

Then it hit me.