What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Puns
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Josh Hemus - follow him on Instagram @joshhemus
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
