Puns
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Get confused with Confucius!
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."