Puns
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.