Puns

Bob: Kanye West.

Dad: No, but I can East.

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

Scree.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu'um.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

What do you call a flying skunk?

A smelicopter.

Don't drink and park.

Accidents cause people.

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

Eggshausted.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?

He was all right.