Puns

Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

"Time"? More like waiting.

What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

Bob: Kanye West.

Dad: No, but I can East.

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

Scree.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? Four fingers and a Thu'um.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

What do you call a flying skunk?

A smelicopter.

Don't drink and park.

Accidents cause people.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

Eggshausted.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.