I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Your mum!
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
