Puns
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! XD
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Your mum!
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.