Puns
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
you.
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
your mom
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.