Puns

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

What do you call a cool octopus? Tenta-cool (tentacle)

I have some jokes about popcorn.

Nah, they're too corny.

Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

Because they want to leaf their old color.

Yeah, not too bad at all, really.

How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.

Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"