Psychology jokes

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"

"Claustrophobic!"

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.