Psychology jokes

The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What happens to a nervous nut?

It cracks.

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

How do you call a mirror and an orphan?

Family reunion.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

Why do orphans become criminals?

To feel what it is like to be wanted.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.