Psychology jokes
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.