Psychology jokes
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"