Psychology jokes

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.