Psychology jokes

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.