Prostitution jokes
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END