Prostitution jokes
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
What do feminists and whores have in common?
Daddy issues.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.