Prostitution jokes
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Yo daddy so stupid, he went to the HO-tel to see some hoes.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.