Prostitution jokes

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

What is more used than plastic?

Hookers.

What do you call an Eskimo stripper?

A frosty-tute.

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?

The nun has a soul full of hope...

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?

You end up doing all the work.

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?

A. I respect prostitutes.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.