Prostitution jokes
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Yo daddy so stupid, he went to the HO-tel to see some hoes.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.