Prostitution

Prostitution Jokes

Hooker

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.

Difference

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.

Thot

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

West

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

Anorexic

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Difference

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Difference

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?

A. I respect prostitutes.

Son

My son's class is having a career day next week.

He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.

We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.

Prostitution

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

Government

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

Woman

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

Snack

What's a prostitute's favorite snack?

Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.

Pimp

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.