Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?
A. I respect prostitutes.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
My son's class is having a career day next week.
He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.
We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
