Problem jokes

What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?

A hurri-CANE.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"

The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?

A: Because they can't multiply.

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

In honor of Diddy:

The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs.

A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.

Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"

Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."

Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"

Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Dear math,

Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

Thanks.

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

What's the biggest problem with gravity?

It keeps putting people down.