Problem

Problem jokes

Skeleton

    • Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

    Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

    Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

    Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

    Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

    Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

    Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • 2
    • Problem memes

    Asylum

    • There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

    So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

    So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

  • 1

    • Police Officer

    • A man is pulled over by a police officer.

    The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"

    The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license, please?"

    The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."

    "You don't have one?"

    The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."

    The officer is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?"

    "I'm sorry, I can't do that."

    The officer says, "Why not?"

    "I stole this car."

    The officer says, "Stole it?"

    The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

    At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?!"

    "She's in the trunk if you want to see."

    The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his own car and calls for backup. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

    The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle, please?"

    The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"

    "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

    "Murdered the owner?"

    The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?"

    The man opens the trunk, but there is nothing there.

    The officer says, "Is this your car, sir?"

    The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

    The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.

    "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."

    The man digs through his pockets, pulls out a wallet, and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

    The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"

  • 4

    • Pirate

    • A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

  • 7

    • Class

    • Peyton: Okay guys, no talking about dumb and stupid things that are not important.

    Ysabella: No!!!

    Peyton: Oh SHUT YOUR FACE THE HECK UP!

    Navaya: That makes no sense.

    Isaiah: I know, right.

    Kenya: You don't tell us what to do, you control freak.

    Ysabella: Shush.

    Kenya: BLAH!

    Peyton: Now we shall be watching some amazing things on YouTube. Subject: math. aka BORING!!!!

    Andre: Say, how old are you?

    Kenya: What?

    Andre: I'm asking her how old she is.

    Peyton: That's none of your beeswax.

    Andre: Okay then.

    9 hours later.

    Peyton: Okay class, time for science!!!

    Kenya: Okay, what are we doi...

    Peyton: SHUSH!!!

    Ysabella: Shush.

    Peyton: We aren't doing anything but playing around with all this STUFF!!! heheheheehe.

    Navaya: No, thanks.

    Peyton: Yes, thanks!

    Mariah: Why? Oh, for science.

    Peyton: Shut your mouth and watch me do this science work!!!

    10 hours later.

    Peyton: What else?

    Ysabella: Well we can play games since that's all we have!

    Peyton: WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND BY SHUTING YOUR MOUTH UPPPP!?!?!?! HMMMMMMMM?

    Ysabella: Sorry!

    Peyton: Then act like it!

    Kenya: Shush!

    Peyton: Shush!

    Andre: Shush. Shush!

    Mariah: Andre?

    Andre: Shush!

    1 hour later.

    Peyton: Well we have a lot of E.L.A. work to do.

    Ysabella: Sweetie this is Math and Science class! Not the other classes. Peyton mocking Ysa: Sweetie this is Math and Science class. Not the other classes. I know things!

    Andre: Then act like you know things.

    Kenya: True.

    Oliver: True that.

    Peyton: SHUT IT!!!

    Oliver: No! Geez.

    2 hours later, clock time (7:00)

    Peyton: Whooohooo we got our E L A done now time for- Ysabella: I'm going to stop you right there! We have been working all morning from 5:00 a.m. to this o'clock a.m.! Sooo KNOCK IT OFF!!

    Andre: Yes, thank you Ysabella, you are now at the top of my friend list!

    Ysabella: What? Whatever!

    Peyton: Fine, go somewhere else and whine about it 'cause I idc!

    Kingston: What does that mean, ohhhhhh.

    Peyton: Idc.

    Ysabe: IDC what does that mean?

    Kingston: "I don't care".

    3 hours has passed now and it turned to 8:00 a.m.

    Peyton: What do guys want to do?

    Ysabella: Play games.

    Kingston: Draw!

    Andre: Go home!

    Peyton: Please. Well I'm picking so haha.

    Kenya: Here it says that we can pick the things we want to do, it just can't be harmful or bad for us!

    Oliver: Really it says that?

    Kenya: Yeah, right here.

    Oliver: Noice.

    Peyton: Oh, go play!

    Kenya: Good, byeeee!

    Oliver: Peace!

    1 hour later. Ysabella: Woohoo, okay yes. Kingston: What's going over there? Navaya: I don't know... oh she's playing a game! I think that's Interland, wow she is on level 78. super cool! Kingston: She on what?

    Navaya: Shush, shush, shush, shush! Kingston: RUDE!! Ysabella: Whoooohooooooooooooooo!!!! Navaya: Yeah go ysa! Kingston: What is she doing- Navaya: SHUSH!!!! Kingston: WhAtEvEr!!!!! Navaya: Oliver, Mariah, Kenya! Ysa just made it to level 89!!!! Yeeeeeee!! Oliver: Cool. Mariah: ?. Kenya:?

    1 hour later. still 8:00.

    Ysabella: I'm on level 89,000,890. WOW!!!!

    Kenya: How? Kingston: MOVE!!! Kenya: OWWW!!! Kingston: Sorry Uh I did not mean to do that, are you okay? Kenya: What do you think? Navaya: Guys stop hugging, and get over here. Kenya: Gross! Kingston: Dude? Braylon: Guys shut up!! Kenya and Kingston: WE GOT IT!!!

    Ysabella: Your on level 90,890,9795, 4839,86903,6960,6 9506.996 WOOOOOOOOW!!! Kenya: That's a lot of numbers!! Kingston: SuRe is!

    2 hours later, 9:09 a.m, Peyton: Okay GUYS THAT'S ENOUGH GAMES FOR RIGHT NOW! Leilani: Why Ysa so close to her winning streak of reaching 900.138.902 milion billion points and levels on Interland!! Yeeeey.Peyton: Wow, great, cool, amazing!! Who CARES!!!! I KNOW I DON'T!!!

    Leilani: Yeah that's cause your heartless person! Who agrees?

    All the class raised their hands. Peyton: Blah! Leilani: WHATEVER!

    Peyton: Anyway the boss said that she wants us to do social studies. Who likes too? I know I don't.

    5 hours later 10:10 a.m, Peyton: Okay let's see I'm reading from the passage "The great plains experienced a drought from 1932 to 1939. This nat- Madison: The answer is dust bowl! That's the answer... we did this in class and turned all our work in so y'all know yeah, end of the story. Peyton: Well what about Kenya? Kenya: I did it. Mariah: We all did it! Andre: Did you do it? Peyton: Of course I did the social studies work! Duh, I'm not an idiot. Andre: Well sure, that's what you think!

    Peyton: Okay guys what shall it be for lunch? Any choices cause this is a one time thing, no seconds.

    Raymond: Uh tacos.

    Kingston: Wrong! Pizza!

    Raymond: It's not Friday!

    Ysabella: Guys stop, this is a one time thing, no second chances. They choose Pizza and Tacos. Kingston: Whateves. Raymond: No! Peyton: Okay fine I'll chose... and we will have Pizza and tacos with soda PLEASE and thanks. Raymond: Will that's not bad but I DON'T LIKE PIZZA!!! Navaya: Shut up Raymond, you're going to ruin this for us!

    1 hour later.

    Peyton: Okay guys, now let's get back to work!! NOW!

    Kenya: No, we already did our work!

    Peyton: Sure you did! Peyton rolls her eyes.

    Navaya: Did you do all your work Miss.Hickman? Hmmm.

    Ysabella: Yes, answer that question! Hehehehehe.

    Peyton: Heheh hell.

    Kingston: OOOOOOOOO you said the H word! Peyton: K so?

    Kenya: Here it states "No kids shall use bad words also known as profanity in the school halls and inside the classroom". Kingston: Dang, wow! Kenya: Thanks!!

    2 hours later. Peyton: Attention everyone! Attention!

    Janiah: What is it now! Kenya: Yeah. David: Yes Ms. Hickman? What, I have manners. Alexis: WHAT!? Peyton: Thanks for the loud attention! Okay that's the past now who wants to learn Spanish? Janiah: Why? Not that that's a bad thing but why... WHY WOULD WE WANT TO LEARN SPANISH?! Kenya: Many reasons so we can begin a big way to not having to go to Spanish classes and other nonsense! Peyton: Sure that too and plus we're all bored right? Right!

    56 mins later. Peyton: So how do you say Hello in Spanish? Kingston. Kingston: Hola, duh everyone knows that! Oliver: I don't, so thanks King thanks! Peyton: How do you say "Hello, how are you" in Spanish?

    Ysabella: Hola, como estas? Boom did it! I got an A! Kenya: Good job! Ysabella: Gracias. Peyton: Wow, way to show off. how do you...

    Kenya: How do you say "This is stupid" in Spanish oh wait "Esto es estupido" trust me I looked it up!! Alexis: Wow!!! did you use translate? Kenya: Si

    55 mins later. Peyton: How do you say "Everyone in here is acting like jerks and morons, they won't stop interrupting me and won't SHUT THEIR faces like I asked them too do multiple times" anyone? Nevaeh Daniels raised her hand, go on Nev! Nevaeh: Todos aquí están actuando como idiotas y Imbécil, no dejarán de interrumpirme y no CERRARÁN SUS caras como les pedí que lo hicieran varias veces?

    Peyton: Yes!!! But I meant that as a sarcastic type of way! Kenya: Okay freee time!!! Everyone cheers!!!

    To be continued.... This is about a 11 year old girl in charge in her classroom and spending the rest of the week with annoying classmates.

    4 hours later. Kingston: Will we finally got away from that witch! Jaden: Thank you universe! Madison: Wait do you mean witch as in Peyton? Kingston: Yes! Kenya: Red lipstick, Red lipstick, Red lipstick! Kingston: Red lipstick? Mariah: Yes we chose red lipstick is that a ding dang problem?! Kingston: No ma'am. Kenya: Peyton, guys RED LIPSTICK!! Do I have to say it in Spanish? Kingston: Guys Pey is on the way hurry...why? Cause she's looking for us DUMMY! Oliver: Okay ready. Geex.

    1 hour later 7:00 p.m. Peyton in creepy way: Hey guys! Where are you! Kenya: Few more minutes! Ysabella: Peyton really has gone crazy!!! Kenya: Yeah shut up real quick! is it in position? Kingston: Sooooon. Kenya: Hury up you ding dang nitwit! Kingston: Blah! Kamrieiana: How is the dieinc? HOW ARE THEY?! Cornelese: There in place and don't spit in my face please. Kamrieiana: Sorry... HURRY UP MAN!!!! Jovani: HURRY Up DUDE!! Cornelese :O SHUT UP JOVANI!!!! Kenya: Hurry!!!

    The next morning it was Tuesday, Peyton walked in the classroom feeling kind of mad at her classmates or co-workers. Peyton: Ugh! Stupid teachers!!!!! Leaving me in charge of the dumb class!!!! Jrks I mean JERKS!!!! Aniyah: O DANG It WHY THIS CLASSROOM!!!!!! Peyton: Blah! Aniyah: What? Peyton rolls her eyes at Aniyah. Aniyah: Keep rolling your eyes or they will get stuck up there!! Jarryd and Ethan walk in. Jarryd: O will hello Peyton! Ethan: Yes Hello.

    2 mins ago. Kenya, Dijohn, Oliver, Osiris, Nevaeh, Mariah and Madison aka sisters came in. Kenya: Why this idiot? Oliver: Kenya that is mean but true at the same time. Osiris: Gotdang it I hate Peyton- Sometimes. Dijohn: I hate school and Pey too! Nevaeh: I like Pey she is nice. Kenya: Have you even met her?! Mariah: Hey guys listen I don't care about "Pey" I just came here to learn... Okay... now move Ken I got to work! Kenya: I don't blame you, excuse me!

    4 minutes earlier. Dreylan, Janiah, Ji'Kyece, Laura, Braylon and Leilani both arrived TARDY. Dreylan: No, I prayed that she would not be here... PRAYED!!! Janiah: You prayed, I PRAYED 23 Times!! Ji'Kyece: Me, 45.

    Laura: Enough! Save that for if it's really important! Braylon: And this is not Important!? Leilani: You guys are acting 2 year olds... 2 YEAR OLDS!!!! lets just find our seats... I mean come on, we did all of our work yesterday today will just be fun and games!! Laura: Yeah!!!

    3 mins later. David, Ysabella, Kingston, Jazzlyn, Dylan,Tre'von and Jarod came in the classroom. David: Whyyyyyyyyyy! Ysabella: It should be time for Ms.Sumrall and Mrs.Lewis to get back from their stupid Teacher Trip! Kingston: Exactly! Jazzlyn: What are you guys so pissed off about? Dylan: oooooooo....oooooooo....ooooo!!! Tre'von: You said the P word! Jarod: Yeah We telln you momi! Ha...Ha...ha...ha...ha..ha...haeha! Jazzlen mama is goin to be so Mad! Jazzlen: Oh shut up witch face!!!!!!!

    23 minutes later. Raymond,Y'uree, Elijah, Jessica and Bryson arrived TARDY As WELL As TARDY. Raymond: Nooooooooo! Y'uree: Yesssssss! Y'uree said yes in a sarcastic way. Jessica: whyyyy what did I do! Elijah: Man I hate School... HATE IT!!! Bryson: Wanna know who I do hate. Anthony and Peyton. Jessica: Because of that long pause thing? Bryson: Yesss, but that's not the point in this situwaytion! Raymond: True! Y'uree: True to that.

    45 mins later. Peyton: Will class, hehe I sound so stupid right now but anyway we have 45 pages in our reading book to read, oh my bad... chapters! Anthony: Really? Bryson: She just said we have 45 chapters to read! Were you even listening?! Anthony: I was NOT TA- Peyton: Uh hmmm? Anthony: What...ever. Peyton: Okay guys enough of the mouth moving and more of the reading!!! Jessica: Will my book is tore in the middle section! Peyton: Gasp!!!! Fine I'll fix it! You big cry baby.

    Jessica: Thanks?

    All the kids came in late about around 10:10 a.m. Kingston: Help! Navaya: Shush! Hey guys we're just reviewing things since you know were in "school", and Peyton is still in charge! Ysabella: Wait why is she in charge? David: Will in contrast Mrs.Lewis and Ms.Sumrall have not returned from their so-one calls it "Vacation" so they put Peyton in charge of us since their is no substitute! Janiah: That sounds soooo stupid! David: Will do you know a substitute? Janiah: No! David: Well then.

    Kenya B.