Abduction jokes
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Why do white people get abducted by aliens?
Because they're easier to see in the dark.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I were you...
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
This isn't a joke but...
GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣