Problem jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
Why can't dinosaurs clap? 'Cause they're dead.
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
His wife shut off the internet.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.