Problem jokes
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair? Cancer.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!