Priest

Priest jokes

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

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  • A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

    The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

    The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

    Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

    A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

    The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

    A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

    Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

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  • A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

    To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

    He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

    Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

    Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

    Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

    Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

    Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

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  • What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

    They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

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  • What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.