Priest jokes
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Cancer.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Ur mom.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Angus' love life.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!