Priest

Priest jokes

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Cross

  • What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?

    The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.

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  • Baby

  • The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

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    Difference

  • How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?

    One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

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    Masturbation

  • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

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  • Difference

  • What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.

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    Electric Chair

  • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

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  • Rabbi

  • A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

    To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

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    Movie

  • Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

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