Priest jokes
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Ur mom.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Angus' love life.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!