How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
