Pregnant Jokes

Yo everyone! My sis is pregnant😁, I’m gonna be a dad!

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.

... I guess her rubber broke too

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids. I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

I saw a dad shaved his daughters head because she made fun of a woman with cancer. Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant women🤭

a 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. her: " crap! my mom is going to kill me!"

the fetus : "lol same here"

A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun, and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

(wow two pregnancy jokes in a row)

Once when I was 6 I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree. Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl

what do you call a three humped camal- pregnant.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman ? You fix both with a coat hanger.

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow, the cow said to another cow, "it's a miracle, I'm pregnant." the other cow said, "that's impossible it's only us cows in the field you must be joking." The first cow said, "nope I'm serious... no bull."

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman

Kinder egg surprise

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also I’m not pregnant.

If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”