Pregnant jokes
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
UHM U CANT CALL PPLS FAT NOWADAYS
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.