Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address and my phone number.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
My Wife Slept With Another Man And Got Pregnant, She Told Me 9 Weeks Later, I Said It's Ok And Told Her Let's Talk Downstairs, So I Pushed Her Down The Stairs
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"
Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
my dog is pregnant i’m a be a ... i don’t know?
oohh a owner
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
