Pregnant Jokes

my sisters pregnant, ima be a dad!

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"

I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn't giving birth the bloody car would not start .

My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.

Yo mama's so dumb she waited until the stop sign to turn blue. Yo mama's so fat when she got pregnant she failed to the earth's core.

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god my mom's gonna kill me!"

pregnant teen: im pregnant my mums gonna kill me. Unborn baby: my mums gonna kill me

Yo mama such a slut she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant

So this women had a job she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend the she lied about having corona virus then she got out of work then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend then she said i lied now we can you no water sigh lick sigh then her boss texted Ew and YOUR FIRED. one more story one day this teen named alexis got kicked out of a house then went to live with her bf then she got pregnant posted it all on social media

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

My wife is pregnant but when we get to doctors something happened..........

What happened?

A:the husband is pregnant too with someone else’s baby not the wife’s baby but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because was I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex ad gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl? The emo girl still bleeds.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"

your mama is so fat ,you can't tell if shes pregnant or not

One way to not pick up girl is to say, “are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you.” I tried it on a girl and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?