Pregnant jokes

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.

Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."

Baby: "Lmao, same"

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.

A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.

"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.

"Denise."

"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"

"Tom Junior."

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?

They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”

Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!

Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂

Guys, my sister's pregnant!

I'm finally a dad!

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work…

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

I'm pregnant.

How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.