Pregnant jokes

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?

One you can unscrew.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Fuck 'em.

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?

"Kinder Egg surprise."

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...